Dear Dee,

  I've been googling examples of goodbye letters and poems, simply because I wanted this letter to be as graceful as I could make it... I wanted to be kind to you, because I usually want to be the 'bigger person' in situations like this. I like looking at others through rose colored glasses. I like believing in the best of people. I genuinely wanted to say: "I'm sorry and I forgive you." But, you know what?
Fuck that!

     I'm tired of the whole "haters gonna hate" and "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" spiel. I'm sad, because I allowed myself to be trampled all over... by you, and so many others. I'm disgusted that it took me this long to open my eyes and actually see the world I was living in. I'm better than those stupid coorperate games. So is every other person that blindly follows that system, losing bits and pieces of their identity all along the way.

     On second thought, Dee... This isn't about you and me. It's about human beings finding our worth. It's about walking away from situations that don't serve us. It's about breaking free of the 'structure' society has fabricated, and walking into our own aspirations.

     You're really just a symbol to me. A representation of a time in my life, where I allowed myself to drown instead of thrive. You are every terrible boss, every work induced panic attack, every night that I cried myself to sleep because I felt like I wasn't good enough. You weren't the cause of all of my anger, Dee, just the straw that broke the camel's back.

     A part of me is thankful for you, because if it weren't for your terrible management, I wouldn't have realized what the hell I was doing to myself. I would have just continued to drift around, in one toxic workplace or another, barely staying afloat.

    When you showed up, and put our team through one hell of a ringer, it finally clicked. I really was living in a metaphorical matrix! It's not actually a sink or swim world! Not even close! I could walk away from it all, at any moment! So, I did just that! With my head held high, and my middle finger waving an ecstatic "so long!"

     I didn't just quit my job that day... I quit a toxic lifestyle... I quit walking down a path that steered me in the wrong direction. I quit living my life for anyone but me. Then, I found the bricks to build my own damn path, and started constructing my life in ways that made me feel alive.

     I don't know exactly where I'm going, now that I'm making things up as I go --- but I do know that I'm worth the adventure. I'm worth the effort. I'm worth my dreams.
I'm worth it!

     So here's to you, Dee... Without you, I would still be stuffing myself into a world that simply wasn't meant for me. I would still be lost in the fear of not being good enough. Because of you, I googled examples of goodbye letters and poems. Because of you, I walked away from a life full of denial and regret. Because of you, I finally set myself free.

XOXO
Shawnie